By Georgina Clatworthy

If you have been invited to a wedding, then brushing up on your wedding guest etiquette skills would not be a bad thing.  Many of us think we know how to conduct ourselves in public, but in practice can often let the sense of occasion (and the free flowing champagne) cloud our judgment.  And whilst a drunken reveler at a wedding reception may seem like good entertainment on the wedding video, it is a potential headache for the other wedding guests and the bride and groom!

To begin with a dress code may have been specified by the bride and groom.  Often referred to as black tie, evening dress or perhaps a specific theme, each guest will be expected to arrive suitably suited and booted as it were and to not do so would be considered rude in the eyes of wedding etiquette.  If you are at all concerned about what you are expected to wear then a polite phone call to the bride’s mother or to the maid of honor should help you.

For the wedding ceremony each guest is expected to arrive around twenty minutes before the bride.  If you are late do not enter the ceremony venue but instead go directly to the reception venue, you can give your excuses to the couple later.  To enter the ceremony part way through what will be an emotional time for the bride and groom is very unsettling and can spoil what would be a romantic atmosphere.

When shown to your seats at the ceremony, make sure you have turned off any mobile phones and pagers and that you are comfortable – some ceremonies can take a long time so try to visit the bathroom before you sit down!  Try not to make any blasphemous comments if the ceremony is a religious one and be careful of your language! 

The wedding reception is the part everyone looks forward to the most, but this too is often filled with many traditions and customs that require a degree of etiquette to be applied from the invited guests.  Don’t take advantage of your host’s hospitality too early on!  A welcome drink is usually on supplied one to each guest, so make it last unless a pay bar is available.  Depending on the style of the wedding and the hospitality laid on you maybe offered a refill, but try not to get roaring drunk before the first speeches have been given!

Make yourself available for the wedding photographs and don’t disappear off to the bar at the first opportunity!  Many couples like to have a photograph of themselves and all the wedding guests so whether you are close to them or not, make sure you can be found when called upon.  Peaking too soon on the free Champagne and wine is one of the biggest problems faced by wedding guests and the bride and groom.  No-one wants a drunken reveler loosing all their inhibitions and shouting out comments about the bride or what the groom got up to on the bachelor party!  Keep the drinking in check at least until the evening party is in full swing, then you can let loose!

By Georgina Clatworthy

By modern standards there are many different ways of getting married and of celebrating the occasion.  The traditional white wedding is perhaps less favored these days, although for many a formal occasion with many of traditions and customs is popular.  And, although times have changed and the modern wedding etiquette guide is now more widely accepted, the idea of a wedding having a big sense of occasion has remained and it is this that will sway many brides towards a church wedding rather than a small civil affair.

Wedding etiquette has not been immune to the changes in the modern wedding, couples these days are less likely to follow it to the letter and instead the unwritten rules of social behavior have been relaxed and amended a little!  Gone are the days when the bride and her mother would organize everything, when it was customary for the groom’s parents to pay for the ceremony and the bride’s parents to pay for everything else and even the roles of the wedding party has changed significantly.

That said, so many couples still like to let the traditional etiquette guide them and to take on board the opinions and feelings of their family and friends.  There are many protocols, traditions and customs associated with weddings, but just how many are included in the modern wedding is a matter for the bride and groom.  Whether you choose to follow wedding etiquette to the letter or to decide to follow just a few of the formalities, the modern wedding does require a certain amount of flexibility within the long-established etiquette familiar to most.

Invitations for instance, traditionally wedding etiquette would guide the couple to choosing formal wedding invitations which contain just the bare minimum but essential information the wedding guest would need to know.  Enclosures such as gift registries, accommodation and travel details and perhaps even RSVP cards where definitely frowned upon, but for the modern wedding they have become something of a necessity if only to save the bride’s sanity from answering endless phone calls about local hotels, directions, and preferred wedding gifts!  The inclusion of an RSVP card also necessitates a speedier response from the recipient, allowing the wedding planning to proceed at a faster pace than perhaps it would with a more traditional wedding.

The matter of who pays for the wedding and who consequently will host it has also changed beyond traditional etiquette.  As alluded to earlier the groom’s parents would pay for the ceremony, the groom would pay for honeymoon and the bride’s parents would foot the bill for everything else.  Because they would have paid the most, the bride’s parents would then become the hosts, hence the traditional wedding invitation wording ‘Mr & Mrs Smith request the pleasure of the company of ……….. at the wedding of their daughter Felicity Jane to Michael James Brown’.

Today most couples will pay for the wedding themselves or the cost will be shared between the couple and their parents.  This can lead to a dilemma – who is the host? Traditional wedding etiquette would say that whosoever paid the most amount of money towards the wedding would become the hosts, but many couples will still observe the traditional rule of the bride’s parents being the hosts.  I guess what I am trying to point out is that in the modern wedding anything goes! You can choose to follow the traditional wedding etiquette to the letter or to bend the rules a little in your favor.  Making your life a little easier during the wedding planning is no bad thing and on the whole is encouraged, do what you feel comfortable with and abandon the rest – it is your wedding so do it your way!

By Georgina Clatworthy

Your wedding photographs will be your lasting keepsake of your special day, so this is one area where you should try to spend as much as you can afford and to make sure you get the right photographer.  You should also look at the number of shots you want and how you want them to look.  Here are a few wedding photography tips to help you get the most from one the most important aspects of your day.

If you have been to at least one wedding before, then you will probably know that the photography can take an age to complete particularly if the bride and groom have given their photographer an incredibly long list of shots or if there is a large number of guests.  What this does of course is eat into your valuable party time, so it is worth planning your wedding photography well in advance to minimize the amount your guests are left milling around.

Arrange to meet with your photographer and discuss the list of shots you want and those he advises.  Make sure he knows exactly how many pictures you want and make certain of how you will be charged – by the shot or by the hour.  Listen to the tips and advice they have to give when drawing up your shot list, they are the professional and will know best which shots will work and which won’t.

Think about the type of photography you want for your wedding pictures.  Traditional or formal poses, reportage or contemporary are all types of photography and mixing any of these can give you a wonderful range of shots.  Formal style pictures will appeal to those having a formal wedding, whilst contemporary or reportage work well for a less formal affair.  Again your photographer will be able to provide tips on which style would suit you best.

Plan in advance where the pictures will be taken.  It is common to have pictures before and after the ceremony and then more at the reception venue.  Weather will also play a part, as will the light at your venues.  Outdoor photographs tend to be more flattering, but it is always worth having a contingency plan in place in case of inclement conditions.

Brief your best man to round up all the key guests that you want to appear in the photographs.  Guests often have a tendency to go walk about whilst waiting for the photographs to be completed, so have someone in charge of making sure no time is wasted in looking for wayward guests!

Whilst professional photographs are wonderful, issuing your guests with disposable cameras is a great way of getting some ‘as it happened’ shots of the day’s events that you may otherwise miss.  You can also ask guests who bring their own cameras to share the pictures they have taken with you – most will probably do this without you having to ask.

By Georgina Clatworthy

Choosing your perfect wedding dress is one of the most important decisions you will make and for some brides this can lead to a very long and drawn out process of looking high and low for ‘the one’.  Custom made wedding dresses can provide brides who cannot find the perfect dress in store with the option of having their own wedding dress designed and made for them, with plenty of input from themselves.

There are a number of reasons why a custom made wedding dress may be perfect for you.  Perhaps you have a very specific idea of your wedding dress and you simply don’t like the dresses you have seen in bridal stores.  Or maybe you are having trouble finding a dress to fit and having a custom made dress would be more cost effective than greatly altering one from a store.

Your first consideration with having a dress custom made is the time it will take to complete.  Like many other wedding suppliers, seamstresses who specialize in wedding dresses can be booked up many months in advance, so if possible to plan your dress a year in advance for the best possible chance of it being made in time.

Finding a good seamstress is your next task.  Fabric stores are usually good places to find seamstresses advertising their services, and some may also advertise in bridal stores.  While you at the fabric store it is worthwhile browsing through the pattern books and the bridal fabrics to get an idea of the styles and fabrics you like.  Larger fabric stores often have a special bridal department where you can browse through many different bridal fabrics such as silks, satins and laces.

When you find a seamstress and attend your first meeting, don’t be afraid to take along some pictures of dresses you like from magazines.  Try to be specific about what you want, including fabrics and trimmings such as beading, embroidery and patterns.  Your main advantage here is that you can tell the seamstress what you like and what you don’t like, for instance, you may like the skirt on one dress but the neckline on another.  This will give the seamstress something to work with and she look at combining the details from different gowns to create the dress you want.

A good seamstress will be able to bring much experience and advice to your wedding dress design, so listen to what they have to say.  She will be able to guide you to styles and fabrics which will flatter you and will know how to design a dress that will fit you perfectly, coordinate with your wedding style, time of year and which will hold its shape throughout the day.

By Georgina Clatworthy

Your choice of wedding hair style can be a particularly difficult decision for your wedding day.  You want it to flatter your face and be the crowning glory to your stunning wedding outfit, but you also need it to be representative of your personal style.  The choice of hair style can range from low knots at the nape of the neck, to stylish up-do’s piled high on your head.

When it comes to wedding hair styles, formal up-do’s are the most popular choice, particularly for formal and traditional weddings.  But for those brides who are having a less formal wedding a more natural, free flowing style is becoming the norm.  Whichever type of hair style you choose, keep the following tips in mind:

Research your style:

It is always a good idea to collect together images of hair styles you like and taking them with you to your stylist.  Your stylist can then advise you on whether or not a particular look will suit you and then set about recreating a chosen style for you.

Be the center of attention:

You are the bride so you should stand out from the crown and be the center of attention.  But beware the bridesmaids!  Try not to have your hair styled in the same way and instead choose a different wedding hair style for them, for instance, if they have their hair up, you wear yours down and vice versa.

Wash your hair the night before:

Formal updo hairstyles are always easy to create if the hair is ’slightly’ dirty.  Freshly washed hair can be difficult to work with so try to resist the urge to wash your hair on the morning of the wedding.  If your hair is a ‘day old’ then it reduce the number of flyaways.

Wear a shirt:

Think about what you wear when you attend your appointment to have your hair done.  Having sat for ages having a beautiful style created on top of your head you do not then want to ruin it by pulling a T-shirt up over the top!  Wear a button through shirt instead which will be easier to take off when you have to get ready and will not ruin your perfectly manicured hair!

Have a trial run:

Don’t leave your hair style chance, book a trial run a couple of weeks before the wedding day and have your hair accessories added too.  This will give an idea of how you will look and should you not like it, you still have time to come up with something else.  You may have to pay extra for a trial run or your stylist may include one as part of a package for your wedding day.

By Georgina Clatworthy

Whilst most brides will dream about all the special moments their wedding day will bring, for some the idea of a full white wedding dress is just not them.  Finding unique wedding dresses for the bride who is slightly unconventional is not that hard, it is just a case of knowing where to look and defining your style.

Perhaps you have always been something of tomboy at heart and a full on gown trimmed with lace and pearls is just not your scene, or maybe you are the retro type, preferring something vintage from the 1950’s say.  One thing to remember though is that unique wedding dresses do not have to be white, they do not have to be floor length and they do not have to be formal.

Weddings are full of personal statements about you and your groom, and your wedding dress should be a unique statement of your own personal style, so if white and frilly is not your thing it is time to look at the alternatives and think outside of the box when it comes to wedding dresses.

Begin by browsing the bridal stores, yes the assistant may raise their eyebrows when you give them you brief for your wedding dress, but bridal stores can often offer so much more than white and ivory dresses.  You don’t need to be confined to the bridesmaid section either, many wedding designers these have recognized the growing trend for dresses in colors other than white and ivory.  So if a non-traditional color is top of your list ask about wedding dresses in colors other than the usual white, ivory and cream.

Vintage is a big look and because of the nature of vintage dresses you are very likely to end up with one which is unique.  Decide on the decade you most like and start looking online first, there are many websites dedicated to vintage clothing and other sites such as Ebay and Etsy are also great sources for vintage gowns.

The only downside with true vintage wedding dresses is that they can often run on the small side, they may have damage or staining or they may simply just not be up to the job of being worn for an entire day anymore.  Again wedding dress designers have come to the rescue and this season there are many 50’s inspired designs hitting the bridal stores.  Your other option is to have a dress especially made for you in a vintage style.

Department stores and dress boutiques are other great sources of unique wedding dresses.  Occasion and evening wear can provide you with some great choices and in a wide range of styles and fabrics.  Occasion wear and even smart summer dresses are perfect for an informal wedding, perhaps on the beach or in a garden, whilst evening wear provides enough formality for a formal or semi-formal wedding.

Modifying an existing dress is another way to make it unique.  Think about a plain colored evening dress with a pretty lace overlay, or adding a full length sheer coat which can be removed later on.  Try adding a lace petticoat or stitching several layers of pretty lace or tulle to the underskirt of a simple slip dress for a look which is unique but not too bridal.

By Georgina Clatworthy

A bridal shower is one of those fun pre-wedding parties thrown for the bride by her family and friends.  The origins of bridal shower gifts date back to a time when a dowry was customary for any bride to bring into a marriage – a dowry by the way would be items gifted to the bride by her parents and which would be useful in her new home – the first bridal showers were thrown for those brides whose parents could not afford to give a dowry or who disapproved of the marriage and refused to give one.

The concept has stuck and these days it more common to have a bridal shower than it is not to have one!  The term bridal shower comes from a Victorian tradition for placing small gifts inside an umbrella or parasol, which once opened would literally ’shower’ the bride with gifts!  Etiquette used to dictate that the bridal shower would be organized by a close friend and not a relative as this was considered rude and improper.  But in modern times it is has become more acceptable for a family member to organize the shower.

So when it comes to choosing appropriate gifts for a bridal shower, what should you be giving?  Well if you follow the tradition behind the bridal shower, then you should consider giving the bride something which will be useful to her in her new home.  Here are a few ideas:

Bed linens and sheet sets are always useful and these are not always something that appears on the wedding gift registry, so there is no danger of the couple being inundated with them!  Try to pick something timeless and classic which can be used no matter what the décor is in their bedroom.

Towels and bathroom accessories are another item which may or may not appear on the gift registry.  Toweling bales are popular for wedding gifts, especially the luxury varieties, but have a look for pretty guest towels and useful bathroom accessories that will coordinate to any style.

Cookery books area great option, whether the bride-to-be can cook or not!  Pick a book with a varied choice of recipes inside or if you know they like a particular kind of food, choose a recipe book along those lines.  Put a note inside telling her you will only try each recipe once!

Household linens such as cushions, table cloths, place mats and even tea towels are all things that don’t make it on to the wedding gift list and yet they are essential household items.  Again pick designs which are timeless and which can be used in any setting.

Bridal shower gifts don’t need to be expensive, but make them useful and something that the bride will need for her new home.  Even if the couple already live together, it is always nice to receive new items for the home which are stylish but practical at the same time!

By Georgina Clatworthy

Ok, so this is the moment you have been waiting – it is time to hit the bridal stores to find ‘the one’.  But finding an outfit as important as your wedding dress is not as easy as you may first think, and when it comes to wedding dress shopping, it is savvy brides who will find it easiest to make a final choice.

For some knowing which dress is the right one will come instantaneously from the moment they put it on, for others it will take longer, requiring far more deliberation and possibly several hours in the store!  But one thing you can be sure of, once you have found the wedding dress for you, there will be no question that is the right one.

Wedding dress shopping should be one of those life changing occasions that you will enjoy, but before you hit the salons it is important to have plan of attack first.  Knowing what your budget is vitally important, and giving yourself plenty of time will ensure you don’t fall into the two biggest shopping mistakes – overspending and making hasty decisions!

Giving yourself plenty of time to find your wedding dress is essential and I don’t just mean on the day you go shopping.  Most wedding dresses are made to order to your size and can take up to eight months to arrive back from the manufacturers to the bridal store.  There is then the time needed to make any alterations and for fittings.  So begin looking fairly early on in your wedding planning to ensure you have enough time.  Once you have decided when to start your wedding dress shopping, follow these essential tips to aid you with your choice:

Creating a backdrop: think about the surroundings in which you will be getting married and your wedding style.  If you are having a traditional, formal wedding then choose dress which is equally traditional and formal; if your wedding is taking place in a garden then choose a dress which is flowing and romantic in style.

Budget: your wedding dress is one area where you will be most tempted to overspend, but by setting yourself a budget before your begin shopping you will be less tempted to try on gowns well out of your price range.

Create a scrapbook: this is one of the best ways of narrowing down your choices in store.  Go through bridal magazines and cut out pictures of wedding dresses you like and in particular those that are on models of a similar size and shape to you, then stick them into a scrapbook and take it with you so you can look to copy the styles and looks.

Choose some shopping partners: shopping for a wedding dress is always something a bride should do with her mother, but there is nothing to say you cannot take a close friend with you as well.  Just make sure you take no more than two people and that they are patient, open minded, honest and positive.  You need them to give you honest opinions on the dresses you try on and to aid you in your final choice.

Take notes: after trying on a plethora of beautiful dresses it is easy to forget which you have tried on and which ones were the front runners.  Keep some notes on each one such as what you liked and what you disliked about it.