Ajanta Roy

Let’s talk about emotions for a minute. Right now you are engaged to a wonderful person. You are excited; you are scared; you are happy; you worry about how well your in-laws will like you; you wonder whether your parents will get along and many more. Now throw in the fact that your mother insists on beef for the entrée and that you and your fiancé both want chicken, or that she thinks pink is a terrible color for the bridesmaids’ dresses while you have had your heart set on pink for years. You have the makings for some major fireworks, but what’s really going on here? Is it about beef and chicken? Is it about 10 different shades of pink you want to incorporate? I doubt it. It’s about the bonds between parent and child, it’s about power and control, and it’s about growing up.

Mother and bride
At this point in your life, you may be torn between yearning for independence and yet not being ready to leave the nest. You want to make your own decisions, but you might be reluctant to give up the security of having someone take care of you.
Your mother also might be feeling torn. She has reared you to be an independent person, but she is not really ready to lose her baby. She wants you to be strong, but she wants to make sure you make the right decisions. Your mother is afraid that the marriage will break the bonds between the two of you, and that makes her sad. So while she might be perfectly willing to argue over beef or chicken, or your choice of colors, you can be fairly certain that’s not really what she is upset about. Don’t be too hard on Mom.

Daddy’s little girl
Much is written about the pre-wedding tension between mother and daughter. But what about daughter and dad? Where does he fit into the picture? Your dad is proud of the woman you have become, and he wants only the very best for you. It doesn’t matter if you are a 30-year-old bride or a 22-year-old bride, you are still Daddy’s little girl. Most of the times Dads feel left out of all the planning stages. Ask your Dad how, or if, he wants to be involved in the wedding planning. If he gives the go-ahead, offer him some task that he will feel comfortable handling. Always try to keep your dad informed about the decisions you have made. Try to ask his advice and counsel. This will make him feel close to you and needed. It wouldn’t hurt to give him some extra hugs along the way, either.

Mama’s baby boy
The emotional stress of the grooms may not be as loud as the brides but they have their moments too. Where do they pick up the stress and the emotions is from their moms. She is about to become the ill-fated “mother-in-law”!
Your mom is thinking the same thing as your fiancé’s mom: is she good enough for him, will she like us? To help ease the tension and break the ice, involve your folks as much as they want to be involved. If nothing else, keep them informed as to what is happening and where. If you ask simple questions it makes them feel wanted and that gesture always helps.