Georgina Clatworthy

One of the biggest dilemmas couples face is the wedding guest list! All those plus ones, too many names for the size of venue and what about inviting children to the wedding as well? Here are some of the typical guest list problems faced and ways to get around them:

1. Do you add plus-ones? Often you feel obliged to allow single guests to bring someone else along with them. Trouble is these can quickly add up and more importantly will the latest squeeze on the scene still be around by the time the wedding day comes about? There is also the issue of having dozens of people at your wedding that you do not know! It may surprise some to be invited to attend on their own but do not feel guilty about it. Do let them know once the invitations have gone out that the invite is for them only, in dire emergencies when someone will not come without a partner you may think about making an exception.

2. Should you invite children? This really is down to you, children at weddings are always nice, especially if there are young children within your family and close friends. However, many couples do worry about how they will behave, will they be entertained enough and will their parents enjoy the day with their offspring in tow? If the number of children is quite high then you may want to say no and have an adult only wedding, but then you cannot have children as part of your bridal party. If you are having a large, informal wedding then children can really add to the atmosphere of fun and excitement, but if you want a wedding that is more intimate and formal then exclude children altogether from the guest list. Parents are usually very understanding providing you let them know early on as most will assume their children are invited as well.

3. Friends of your parents. It is often the case that your parents will want to invite several friends of their own and if they are hosting the wedding then they make think it is only right. It is down to you as to who is invited and who isn’t and simply because your parents went to a friend’s child’s wedding does not mean they have to return the favor! However, in the spirit of compromise it could be an idea to allocate both sets of parents around a third of the guest list whilst you get to decide on the rest. Be diplomatic and explain that financial and capacity reasons mean that none of you can invite everyone you may want.

4. What about work colleagues? Add up the number of work colleagues you have between you and you could be looking a large number. Many may already expect to receive an invitation and things could be difficult if you only invite some and not others. One way around it is to invite them to the evening party only, chances are most will not come anyway or you could hold an informal party pre-wedding day and tell everyone that the wedding day itself is for close friends and family only. The cheeky solution? Choose a weekday wedding then none of them can come as there will be no one left to run the office!

5. Who comes all day and who comes to the evening party only? Chances are your budget simply will not run to inviting everyone for the entire day so you will need to split the list into those who come for the ceremony onwards and those who come to the evening party only. Keep the daytime celebrations for close family and friends only and invite everyone else – old college friends, neighbors, work colleagues etc to the evening party.

6. We are having a destination wedding: if you are going abroad then chances are you will not be taking hundreds of guests with you! These days destination wedding packages mean you can easily take close family and friends with you. But for those left behind you may need to consider a second party so they can celebrate with you too. This is a great way to celebrate your wedding twice over and you can always set up the wedding video in one corner so everyone can see the ceremony too.