Georgina Clatworthy

‘OMG – I’m getting married – lol’ posted a friend on announcing her engagement, and so cue 12 months of being informed of every little detail, from the wedding dresses she simply cannot choose between to the fact she has sooo many friends she simply cannot have them all as bridesmaids! For the best part of the coming year you realize that Facebook should be renamed ‘the Wedding Social Network’ because that is all that confronts you each time you log in!

Why can’t we just do what we did way back when tweeting was something birds did and place a nice neat (and small) announcement in the local press? Sure, I am very pleased for you and sure, go ahead and milk every minute, but I do not need to know the price of the wedding favors or what the wedding breakfast menu is – especially that is as I am not invited!

It isn’t a case of sour grapes if that is what you are thinking. For a start we were never really friends (ever wondered why we feel the need to become friends with people on a social network that we never really liked in the first place) and moreover I haven’t seen her since we left school and that was longer than I care to remember. No, it is more a case that surely it is inappropriate to be rubbing it in people’s faces like this, firstly because it must be against all the laws of wedding etiquette, and second because you feel it is perhaps a little insensitive given that at least two of your mutual friends have just gone through bitter divorce’s, three have just gone through even bitterer breakups and two are so desperate to get married they may as well have it tattooed across their foreheads!

But still the posts keep coming. Today’s is about the custom wedding shoes she is having designed and the luxury all-inclusive honeymoon she is hoping her groom is going to book (mmm, big disappointment coming up I fear, or should that be hope!) I could of course simply ‘turn her off’ but you know it will not go away because many of your other friends are on the same network, many of which I am sad to report are sucking up to her big time in the hope of scoring an invite to the wedding of the century!

Time to switch to a new social network for some normality. ‘Oh give me strength! She’s on here as well!’

May as well suck it up and accept the fact that I will have to share every little detail of her wedding planning and hope that she falls flat on her face going up the aisle in her custom designed shoes! But it won’t end after the wedding day will it, because then we will be treated to the wedding photographs! And you can bet your bottom dollar there will be hundreds! Still it will be interesting to see if her wedding dress was the designer dream she’s making it out to be and if her husband really is a cross between Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp as she has always described!

And if I survive the wedding planning on my favourite social network I know I can survive just about anything – famine, war, end of the world……

‘OMG – I’m pregnant – lol’

Cue sharp intake of breath!