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Cultural Wedding Vows

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Interfaith Wedding Vows...

Interfaith weddings are becoming more and more common, especially within the confines of American culture. It may be a surprise to you that a union between two people in which both are from different divisions under the same religion is considered to be an interfaith wedding. We see these types of weddings happening all the time. Although some may argue that there are parts in the Bible which clearly state God prohibits unequal yoking, it's tough to deny the unpredictable and unstoppable forces of love.

True, it can be difficult to reach the ultimate spiritual plateau in your current faith when your partner is heading down a different path, but who's to say which is right and wrong? What typically occurs is that one partner will abandon their beliefs and adopt their wife/husband's anyway. So although it's an important in the relationship (especially when children are introduced into the family), if you don't have it from the get-go, it can be worked on and developed, just like everything else in your marriage.

“More and more interfaith couples are opting to forge their own paths in the spiritual realm by combining aspects of both religions rather than relying on the strict guidelines promoted by either organized religion. And while many religious leaders turn their back on such decisions, who are they to put limits on God?” Jill Critchley (Christian engaged to Jew)

Before you begin planning your wedding, and especially before you start writing out the wedding vows, make sure that you both sit down together and address the topic of contrary religion. Many times, couples don't see it as a potential problem until they've walked down the aisle, bought the house, and made more than a few attempts at conception. You can't expect your significant other to drop their beliefs and assume your own on demand; in some cases, religion and faith just isn't that simple.

In an ideal situation, there will be one person in the relationship who is more passionate and active about their religion than the other. If this is the case, perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to discuss the possibility of having the other partner participate in the religion that you abide by. It doesn't have to happen today, or even tomorrow, but it's productive to know, at the very least, that it will be something in which both of you can partake together in the future. When it comes to the wedding, sometimes the best solution is to plan it according to the wedding guests. If one person has more family coming who are devout Catholics, while the other only has a few family members who share mixed feelings concerning their spirituality, then why not just go with the traditional Catholic wedding? This way the majority of the attendants don't feel out of place and everyone winds up satisfied.

Consider addressing the religious deviation in your wedding vows. You could say something like: “Although we share conflicting views on religion, the important thing is that we both believe deeply in God. Perhaps his intentions are for us to share our beliefs openly, so that we may come to love and know him in a better way together. I know that our love is special, and I know deep down that you are my soul mate and our meeting was destiny; and so I trust that God has a special plan for us that transcends the religions that hold us apart. I pray that he'll bless our union and direct us down the right spiritual path as we make our way through this life, side by side.”

Talking about these things openly together prior to writing the wedding vows will help you find the words a lot easier. Make sure that you're honest and open-minded, so that you both know what to expect and neither one has feelings of consternation or resentment later down the road.