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Tips on Public Speaking

If you've always had some trouble speaking in front of large audiences, don't think that your wedding ceremony is going to be any different! It will be ten times harder and more nerve-wracking to say a list of heartfelt things to your partner in front of friends and family, than to speak in front of perfect strangers. It's for this reason that you take the time to brush up on your public speaking skills; you don't want to embarrass yourself or your spouse by botching up the most important day – and speech - of your entire lives.

The difference between the wedding vows and any other speech is the intent. With your wedding vows, it's not about educating your guests on the finer points of love, you're simply confessing yourself, face to face, to your partner. Therefore, what you have to say only matters to him/her. Let the rest of the world fade away. Be respectful, sweet, and sincere, and you'll find that it's much easier to get through it.

Any public speaking class will tell you to speak loudly so that everyone in the back row can hear you. Although you want everyone to partake in this moment, it's not essential, nor appropriate, to shout out your vows in your bride/groom's face just so the people sitting in the 30th row can hear. You want to keep the mood solemn, calm and refined. This isn't the moment for knee-slapping jokes or empty promises. If you feel yourself starting to ramble, slow down and take your time to enunciate every single word. Many people have a tendency to speed up when they feel nervous. So even though, in your mind, your pace seems very delayed, chances are you're speaking at a reasonable rate to everyone else.

Practice, practice, practice. The more you practice, the less chance you'll mess up. Recite your vows out loud, looking at yourself in the mirror or in front of someone you trust. You could even go so far as to tape yourself and listen to the recording. This will give you a better idea of the areas you need to work on.

The following are 4 highly important factors that you need to keep in mind as you prepare your wedding vow speech:

These things are crucial in relaying a successfully earnest wedding pledge. And when reciting your vows, your attention should be 100% focused on your husband/wife to be. If you start looking around and glancing off into the wedding audience, you're going to completely lose the sweet and affectionate tone you're trying to achieve. Although your wedding officiant should be coaching you on this matter and communicating these key points, practice a few times at home prior so that you're eyes are trained to look straight.

The second rule can be a little harder to abide by. You don't want to have to whip out a card and read in a monotone in front of everyone. On the other hand, you don't want to forget your lines in the middle of the speech. Both are equally embarrassing. The fact of the matter is, if you prepare well enough, you shouldn't need a cheat sheet whatsoever. However, it's all right to have the card in hand, just in case. If you mess up or stumble on what you're trying to say, stop for a second and correct yourself. It's not the end of the world if you make a mistake. This is no reason to turn in a panic to your note card for guidance.

Body language is an important aspect here. You shouldn't be excessively gesturing with your hands, nor should your body be turned anywhere but towards your bride/groom. You should have your head up, eyes looking into your partner's, and hands calmly at your sides.

If you're reciting vows you've found online, you may find yourself having trouble saying it with conviction. If you can't find a poem or lyric that reiterates exactly how you feel about your significant other, write something that is real. If you don't believe in what you're saying, chances are, neither will the bride/groom, or wedding guests. You want to be able to be completely sincere in your pledge, otherwise the overall intention will be lost. It's ok to add in some humor in your wedding vows. Sometimes humor conveys love and partnership better than long-winded prose. Agnes Repplier once wrote: “We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.” Integrate this tastefully into the wedding vows, and ask your close friends and family for their opinion. If you're feeling apprehensive about your vows, an outside opinion is the best remedy.